Bus Rides

At the moment, I'm taking the bus home instead of three trains because its cheaper for myself since its now taken out of my pocket money. It has its perks - its much easier to take a detour - with trains you could be stuck anywhere.

Anyways, on the way home I had plenty to think about: I needed to finish Memoirs of a Geisha once and for all (I bought the book from Oxfam) which I'm loving...I can't seem to read any fiction at the moment if it has nothing to do with Japan at the moment. As my bus drove past the roundabout I sa this house I've been admiring for a couple of weeks now. It quite big, almost square. What makes it stand out from other houses is the fact its been painted a mellow turquoise, with all of the wood painted white. It reminds me of the French quarter of New Orleans, although I've never actually been there. It's gorgeous! And from the back garden you make out a hint of a 'witchy' garden - like old limestone water fountains, and stringy plants that look like purple willows, with grass that wasn't so perfectly neat. But it was by a roundabout and within a moment it was gone with me left to fill out the rooms, and my massive kitchen...all in my head, of course.

At the back of the bus were these Ex-Cards (Ex Cardinal wiseman) who were talking about the good old days. I looked them straight in the eye and they just hit back with thousand-metre glare. I didn't feel too bad really - I'm way too used to not actually existing to make a big deal out of it. And they carried on about High School, the good ol' days where I never felt wanted, even from the people I knew loved me. But hey, it wasn't all bad...we had some kick-ass History teachers and without Wiseman, how would I ever know about religion, and where would I get the desire to try and change the world as I see fit?

And I then thought about the new college radio station coming up - right now in its baby steps, but as a minion of my mate, Richard who's leader of Drama section, we're getting some great ideas, but if successful the radio will start playing in September, I think. If so, then it will a selfish, a big contrast to last year when I was volunteering for everything. With so much to plan, and having to actually to cater for my needs, it does feel like its easier to do things with nothing expected in return than to actually try to help yourself. The idea may sound laughable, but doing things for others for nothing in return can be a lot of fun. You don't feel as if you're up on display, if you don't like that kind of thing and you always make friends with other like-minded people... and hey, isn't it the year of the volunteer? (www.yearofthevolunteer.org.uk)

Anyways, as I thought of all my busyness - two radio programmes to sort, my first frigging AS exam in two days, writing, and reading. I felt a lot more normal than I have in days, and just better, happier etc. I actually feel capable to save myself from all of the silliness I keep prophesizing about. So I felt a lot...well. Then guess what came on the radio...

David Bowie - Heroes

I
I will be king
And you
You will be queen
Though nothing will
Drive them away
We can beat them
Just for one day
We can be Heroes
Just for one day

And you
You can be mean
And I
I'll drink all the time
'Cause we're lovers
And that is a fact
Yes we're lovers
And that is that

Though nothing
Will keep us together
We could steal time
Just for one day
We can be Heroes
For ever and ever
What d'you say

This is my favourite Bowie song at the moment and it's beautiful I think. Especially when you're trying desperately to get over yourself...I do feel stronger today. xx