Tuesday, January 30, 2007

I've started to laugh at the sound of my own farts

Hey. I've been doing a wealth of studenty stuff recently. This includes revising for and sitting exams - I read through like 30 books during revision (Don't worry - not cover to cover!) and I may have fucked up one of them.

I've done lots of stuff with my friends - saw the movie Babel (very good, funny, cultural, sad, dramatic with lots of gaps for you to fill in...if you're into that sort of stuff. Oh, and if you're just watching the movie for Brad Pitt or Gael Bernal, don't.) House hunting, but alas there's no such thing as a 8 bedroom house for students by any student centre. What else? I went to a foam party and nearly drowned in the (cheap toxic) stuff as mens hunkered over my large lathered breasts. I had never felt so sexually hunkered after! And my friend lost her cloakroom ticket and so we went home, cleaned up and returned at 2am...so strange to be all sensibly dressed and sober in a club covered in foam. I would really hate to work in clubs, just to ruin the whole atmosphere, you know?
Oh, and I've been smoking shisha! My lovely arab habibi (I don't remember the female version!) has introduced me to this. It's so fun and relaxing and just a great way to spend your time in a cafe, with some arabic mint tea and chocolate cheesecake...especially when you haven't been eating all day (someone said I looked slimmer and I want to keep it up)

I've been ok, as well. Recently I went through this storm. It was terrifying, not only because it was the January storm which are usually one of the worse ones, but I still all of the dark cloak me despite the medication, as if my depression can punch through walls. And, my Salesmen have gone missing. I have new people in my head now, and to have a new enemy in your head, with the volume turned low so I can't hear them, is unsettling. And during these storms I like to be swept off to my Motel for some drinks and inner peace before venturing back out but there was so much going on I had to venture out into the storm on my own. In the end I had constant panic attacks and ended up sleeping under the desk because....

There's no because! Hahaha. It was just agoraphobia, OCD, whatever.

And I cut myself. But a small scratch, and its not happening again. The storm has passed and next year I should be better equipped to deal with it. With the storm passing, the sky is a lot clearer than it has for a while. Dust is back in the Manchester skies when it had been gone for months. I had been having serious concerns about my the state of my imagination, but it seems alright!

In fact so alright, I was just on the toilet, thinking about chocolate, the universe and everything where my fart made this "ARF"! sound. Like a happy seal. Yes.

And it reminded me of all the times I talked to Ria and made the Arf! sound from my own nobel vocal cords. (Believe me, its killer - its guaranteed to make anyone laugh, ever!), despite the fact I still can't sleep and my period won't end and I haven't had an orgasm in five months (WHY is it that I can tell random netters and not my doctor?) and I won't eat...I guffawed. I cackled. I put the laughing cow to shame in all my mirth and it was wonderful. So, the fact that I have to laugh at the sound of my own farts has to be a good thing!


Hull Aphrodite said...

Haha, I remember your Arf.
It was more of an Arf?! Complete with verbal punctuation and I have never laughed that much before or since :)
Your Ria xxx

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