Anyway, all apologies for the lateness. You may tut away, but get on with it. Done? Fabulous...
I know I've been doing too much. I can't stop saying yes to things, its in my blood. It's in my upbringing, you see, for I was made to be exceptionally polite. I see it as many things:
- A good business method. The primal: 'You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours' sorta thing.
- It's a comfort. Throughout my life, I've been many different Bettys: the bully, the swot, the quiet one, the nutter, the individual. I've always been polite, so its nice to have that consistentcy in my life. It helps me remember who I am.
- It doesn't make me a suspect.
Lets clarify that one. Sometimes, to make those mundane 9 to 5 days bearable, I like to imagine my life as a whodunit crime thriller. You have your red herrings and the obvious ones you waste chapters digging into. Being polite gives me a sense of neutrality that shifts to the 'good' side of society. I mean nothing, but I'm probably something 'nice'. Does that make sense?
And as a suspect, what the hell am I talking about? My depression, my madness. Thats what I'm hiding from. I guess it makes me unique, if I was to go off on a tangent.
Anyhoo, I've joined several clubs including the college magazine which is vital to do because I want to be a journalist when I 'grow up'. And speaking of journalism, I want to get some work experience. You see, this isn't something I have to do, but I do want it and I need some advice, so I'll be talking to one of the college staff people.
I like today. I've had this horrible cold, which I'm sure is in protest of my ambitions, and its calmed down enough for me to do my homework, and prepare for the next week which I'm sure will go swimmingly. I might even try to start some therapy. But I won't get my hopes up.
1 comment:
I'm glad today was a good day. Hope things get better.
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