That Day!

Today, is quite historic for me: today was my first day at Richmond College, in Twickenham. It has turned out to be one of those things that you know are going to be hard, and even that they'll even be harder than you think but you still don't fully understand how tough it may be.

I think it was mainly because today was crap. Today, of all days-my luck is amazing. Its either completely brilliant, or completely hopeless, or just bizarre. Kinda like my life, lol.

Yesterday, there were delays on the District line, and I ended up being 30 minutes late for my induction day. Thats annoying enough, cos I was all sweaty and stressed and dazed, so I didn't get to make any friends. Then today I lost my photocard and my travelcard, which apparentely is practically guaranteed to be lost. You could imagine my distress-I was crying in the stupid station, trying to not shout at myself for being so embarrassing. Then I spent all my money on a new travelcard, was late for my first lesson-then the phone went off, the library was disappointingly empty of fiction, and it took me ages to find Ash, who's like my only friend in the place. The place is massive. There are like 2000 people there, and its going to be soo bad tomorrow because the second year students are coming and that'll be a nightmare! I'm still not cutting. I'm not really worrying about it, just worrying about slapping myself in public, and people seeing my scars. Because at the moment I'm completely no one because everyone is tall and perfect and Ash is one them. Almost all the girls are 5"8, skinny enough to wear low riding jeans and show off their hip bones. And loads of people smoke, its crazy and crowded but its still only my first bloody day and I have to get a grip. Mad, bad luck, crazy shit happens to people all the time. I know, that somewhere, I am being tested. Who else gets two crazy disasters in two days when she's starting over? Nobody! Its just to test my commitment and my once-inane ability to not cry. (however, I do have an inane ability about keeping my head together.)

Breathe.....sigh...aaah....rant over.

Gotta go, I have to wake up early and spend lots more money to get my shit together. I will write a proper entry in this blog-stay tuned.