Hmmm

I told myself that I would do a politics essay just after I've finished this apple (which is gorgeous, but you can't see it, canya?). Hmmm, cos you see I've finished the apple and I'm still writing....

Darn, I wish I hadn't gotten so lazy. But I swear, when college starts I'm going to get so mad busy this holiday will be a dream. I've found this really cool magazine that is for young people and writes about hot, underground music and the latest fashion. AND they want people to work for them! The way they work is a sort of writing academy for young writers like me. I will work for them for free, and in return my work gets published, and I am able to build up my portfolio further. It's a good deal. It really is. I've found two mags like this already, my luck must be going up.

I'm also gonna be head editor for this feature on second generation young people, although that is moving slowly at the moment. And there's also the training gig with the 11 year olds. This time I'm going to teach the more technical points of writing for the internet, which I know almost nothing about. Should be fun!

What else? Oh, AS levels and Oxbridge applications, I'm guessing that should be like, top priority and take up all my time and all that. If only I cared!

Anything else? Alice, my amazing girlfriend. Things have been weird, but I'm better now and nothing else and nothing else is going to change that. And when was the last time I cut? I think it was Christmas Eve, but it meant nothing. It's a routine, unemotional, insurance cut to make sure the Big Day went smoothly and I didn't burst into tears or anything distracting.

Could life get better? Well, my poetry is going really well, and I'm really getting into my style. I went onto the BBC site for tips that didn't make my blood boil, and found some structure designs, including this french one called the Rondeau, which is simple, poignant, old, v. rhythmic and French. I love it. I am purged. And...I was talking to Ali last night about stuff and she told me a bit about this secret book. I can't tell you anything cos I don't know that much, but when she finishes her first draft I'm soo reading it. And as she was talking about her cult book project, I remembered my story from last April (April! AND I still dream about it sometimes), and I thought to myself I HAD to read it. And I did, making mini changes with my red pen (well, the most you can do at 1 in the morning) and I found holes - major ones in the plot, and I'm building them back up. I just need a proper, logical, almost emotionally blank outline. I need to know what I'm going to do, I can do it quicker and better that way, right? Can anyone help me on this? Oh well, but I think that's my *resoulution*. But its not really, or of course, I'll never get it done, like ever!