Guess Who's back online!!!

Hey, hello, I'm back online! I know, I've been gone for way too long. I want to describe everything in my life cos it's been a WEIRD summer. After all:

• I've put on weight (boohoo I'm going to start cycling!)
• I got AAAB in my AS results in what was a really good day in the end, despite Ria not doing so well, but hell, it happens. For me, it means I have a real good chance of getting into Oxford (if I want to go, of course)
• I had my two weeks at the National Portrait Gallery. It was a couple of weeks after the bombings so there was police everywhere, sniffer dogs, nervous passengers and general paranoia but I had such a great time! I met the director, who was completely charming, the editor of their publishing house who I had a good chat with over grammar and commas cos I'm sad that way. We did a general critique of the place and they really appreciated and I hope to come back and see them so very soon.

Gosh (ahh!) I feel so energised-knackered. I feel quite lost with this laptop (Mmm-hm! I have wrangled a lovely little laptop and its all mine!) and I feel as if I'm blogging again for the first time to be honest. Will I be the same? Well I'm not the same. I still have my problems but I'm acknowledging them. I have gained the privilege of going to any university and doing whatever course in my hearts desire. I also have fuck-me boots that makes my boobs bounce and cars crash. I am feeling better and prettier than I have in years. There's just all this opportunity ahead and I can see it clearly. I know I'm going to fuck up soon enough (I remember everytime someone grabs my arm) but I want to savor this. Oh and I something to tell you. I think its something big...

I really didn't mind not having the whole internet thing. I got used to it and listened to the radio, and generally calmed down a bit. It's been a weird summer: I've only written two poems, half a story and a scene. I haven't been down to Children's Express where a friend is leaving for Sheffield, and I haven't even planned an article or other articles. I have a lot of work to do. I guess the bombs have thrown everything in the air.

Oh, you'll like this. See, everyone has little steps of bravery, and no matter how old you are, you've never really seen it all...

Tottenham court road is possibly my favourite train station: it's beautifully decorated, it has my favourite line apart from the Piccadilly line, its near the British Museum and the National Portrait gallery. And lots happens there...I had to walk down Tottenham Court road during the attempted bombings and it was like doomsday: usually there are cars and taxis and buses blazing down, but there weren't any cars and everyone was walking in the middle of the road without a care in the world. You could see the London Eye over the top of one of the buildings and knew Parliament was nearby. I was so near to the failed bombings - so near that as I was in the basement of the Petrie museum checking out 3000 year old artifacts the terrorist escaped on the road above us, and the police were searching the hospital next to us! I had taken a photo, buti know nothing about computers.

Then, one time at Tottenham Court Road the escalator stopped working and everyone was walking up in the 80 degree heat and make me think if perserverance. Then at the end of the first week after going to the Kabuki exhibtion (my summer has been very intellectual. I've had several cultural orgasms this summer.) going down the escalator I saw this 55 + lady on the bottom of the escalator too scared to get on the moving metal stairs. This Japanese woman in her 30s gestured to her with a smiling face "Get on! It's easy!" The older lady shook her head "It's going so fast!" She actually looked nervous. It made me wonder where she was from, how repressed she was, if she had ever been to a shopping centre or to London before, and who on earth she was visiting on her lonesome, and going through all of this trouble being scared of escalators. Being that I grew up in London a London girl through and through I just found that strange and maddeningly entrancing...I should start writing a story about it. Just for me. I'm not used to doing things purely for myself anymore so its been hard to write, but I hope to change soon and just get through it.

I gotta go, its late. I still have something to tell you, but I have to make sure I know what I'm talking about! Watch this space, as always for I am back and blogging!