I am a bit of a loss for words.
I couldn't get to the book as soon as 12.01. Not even 12:02 am. Firstly, I had to like sleep. (Didn't fall asleep until 4 am anyway...) No, I was seeing someone I've wanted to see for years, and not even Potter 6 could sway me. It was quite weird, but I just felt so normal with Nik that it turned out to be a really nice afternoon by the Thames, away from the scars of the bombs.
On the way home I went to Bond Street and fought through the crowds until I found Waterstones. I skipped in, and grabbed a optimistic looking HP before anyone could say otherwise, but was momentarily distracted by a section of Japanese authors. With a list of authors I bought one of the thousands already bought in that shop alone, even though I had missed all the people dressing up. It would have been fun to see them all together like that.
At last, I got home at 6pmish. And I read until I was force-fed Chinese food. Not questioning the fact that I was eating and not purging, I carried on until 2am. Turns out all I needed to survive was 5 minute naps, cherry drops and orange squash. Of course, I had my reading music to keep me awake (Maroon 5 and Beth Orton). But I decided I didn't want to get to the best part and become a mad-half asleep teenager wailing with a giant book in the middle of the night. (The men in the house don't READ. My Dad doesn't even know who Dumbledore is...)
I fell into a deep sleep, even though I didn't mean to! Dad woke me up. His teenage daughter, at half 9 in the morning. I got up went into this room, glared at him and went back to sleep. But I couldn't sleep. I thought, hell, lets read.
Three hours later (in complete silence, I might add), I was a watery wreck. My neck was unbearably tight. My chest heaved from holding back from sobbing. I felt quite hopeless. I re-read and re-read, watching .... everything go ... oh, go, so ... Only one thing could save me from wallowing for hours in this Evil, Enveloping Ending. I listened to Doves (The Sulphur Man (lyrics) - so appropriate, and Caught by the River (lyrics) - a real send off. I think I'd like this played at my funeral.). I felt my heart soar. I began to sing. Yes! Sing along, like a drunk karaoke dudette.
As I eventually came downstairs, I still needed comfort. I felt I was still quite near back to the path of uncontrollable tears. Crunchy nut cornflakes and talking about our loss on Fictionalley (warning: full of spoilers, but lots of discussion! Some opinion of mine here.) was good. Then I saw all these boxes and I remembered that I'm moving in a week. That this was to be my last ever Sunday morning in my tiny blue room. We haven't started packing yet, and we had 14 years' worth of memories to pack up, so Dad sent me out to go for brown tape.
What ultimately made me feel better was the clear blue summer sky, full of dust - little squares of light that I always felt were looking out for me somehow, and I realised I'd be joining them someday. I wonder if they'll still be there in Feltham. So yes, if you too are grieving, don't feel sad, but Sing! Sing your favourite, the most happy song that you can think of. I did that, dancing down the empty sweltering Sunday street. I felt much better afterwards.
So, one last scream for the dearly departed...
SQUEEEEEEEE!!!!
Lol. That'll me entertained for ages. However, I have to go pack. What did y'all think? Spoiler warnings please!!
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2 comments:
I think that shipwise, this was a pure catastrophy. Harry/Ginny AND Remus/Tonks, the ship I never thought would really exist. I was pretty sure of H/G, it was quite clear after all that JKR intended for them to end up together - what with Ginny getting all grown up and popular. Rather clumsily and naively written though, you can definitely see that she's writing for children still (I mean, they're SIXTEEN, for gods sake, not 12. Just some jealousy and innocent snogging? What did JKR do herself at 16? Nowadays eleven year olds get pregnant!)
R/T made it all feel very silly and fan-ficcier than lots of actual fan-fics (like UL and Shoebox).
But leaving the ship-part: I actually never thought a HP book would have me crying. I still thought so - until Dumbledore's funeral when the merpeople showed up, that was when I couldn't control myself any longer. But it still feels so unreal! And how JKR's going to pull the Final Battle of is something that will take some real magic. She's painted.. -er, written- herself into a corner with this Strange Evil Ending, that's for sure.
Finally - lots of people seem to think that this is the best book yet. I do not agree. I feel that this book is less 'enthusiastic' (in lack of other words). JKR seems to have gotten a bit worn out with these last two books. She almost kills off people hoping that it will make the next book more interesting! I also think that the Quidditch is there more because she knows that her fans want it, not because she really wants to write about it. The same with quite a lot of things. Like the Malfoy-stalking. Oh, if I was the kind of furious militant H/D-shipper that looks for evidence all the time! "Harry was getting obsessed with Malfoy", "Harry wondered where Malfoy was", "Harry saw that Malfoy had grown paler and thinner", and so on. We even got to know that Malfoy wanted to turn sides if it wasn't for his fear of getting killed himself.
And also: The last book was so angsty that I almost quit reading it a few times, but I never really understood why. Harry didn't have that much of a reason (except Cedric) compared to this book. I mean - his godfather is dead (because of him, according to Harry), Cedric is still dead (also because of him), Voldemort is officially back and powerful, people are getting killed everywhere - but no! Everything is so damn cheerful all of a sudden. Excuse me, did I miss something crucial here?
I'm still a bit upset, obviously. Well, that's my opinion right now. Give me a few days and I'll be a bit more calm... ;)
Well I waited a week before I bought the book. Finished it on Sunday because I was working all day saturday. I thought that some sections of the book were transparent, that JKR just wanted to get them finished. Relationship wise I didn't think there were any surprises, although I did enjoy Ron's love for Romilda Vane.
Overall I enjoyed the book although part of me is disappointed. I didn't cry, I sniffed a bit but my little sister cried and was upset for the rest of the day. I'm going to re-read it later this week, I'm bound to have missed something.
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