Wires

Before I go back to "normal" ;

Thanks, Nik. I didn't take anything. I was itching to hurt myself, so I filled the sink with water and held my breath under it until I couldn't take it anymore. It what I used to do when I 12. I took a sip, and then called Samaritans for half an hour, went to sleep. Crying. Woke up, crying and drained it away. I have to go to college, and I'm still crying. I'm not going to bunk off because I have nowhere to go and I have no money. I'm hungry too. I'm going to stop crying today. I'll try.

I just know things. I just learn things. I haven't done anything remarkable. I'm just like any other good student at college. My charity is "penance" for all of the evil things I've done and the disgust inside me that just won't go away. All of my deeds are totally selfish acts. Thats why I can't stop crying right now. Thats why today I'll have cheerios and half a ham sandwich. It's what I deserve.