Does anyone remember: Seems like everyone has got a plan,
Its kinda like Nashville, with a tan
Shawn Mullins, Lullaby
Memories...that haunted me a little. I wish I was happier...I called Ria cos things aren't feeling 'right'. I can't explain it. It's like the world has thrown itself into a disco and no one has noticed, like a friend who's anorexic and crying out for help but no one can see her, literally. Something's not right. This, my friends is where mental illness kicks in. I'm getting very very paranoid. Jumpy, like a spider. I itch everywhere. Nowhere is sacred. I keep thinking people are attacking me. I believe that the people at my college hate me, so I keep meeting new people and hanging with them instead. I keep losing my mind to drink, but I haven't cut yet...I've been really trembly and weak, as if I'm recovering from flu - can't switch on things, I'm forgetting combinations to doors that I've known for almost a year, I'm forgetting all of the processes that make up a basic week, due to my new weaknesses. In short, I'm failing to do some of my basic actions. I am not functioning. But I feel too weak to cut, if you understand me. I'm aware of the pain. Smashing plates seems like a good plan at the moment.