There never was and never will be,
Don't you know that you can't see me,
Suddenly you're everybody's fool
Evanescence-Everybody's Fool (morphed by me)
Its been a brilliant day. Too brilliant. The moment I stepped off the train to the bus to the chippie at the end of a gorgeous, fun, trusting day, I felt Deserving (cutting). I haven't cut for while, not since when I pretty much attacked myself. Routine. I kind of just got lost. On the bus, I could the feel the worry fill into me. I now realise it was panic...
That was saturday, around 9:30 pm. Despite calming down, I cut anyway. I think it was routine.
Tomorrow I'm coming out. I haven't got time to write a big analysis on it, so just-wish me luck and wait for the next installment.....
About Me
- Serialangel
- London/Manchester, England, United Kingdom
- I AM 18 I am black, atheist, depressed and erm, lesbianic with an inherent fear of boredom. I can do anything, right? I know that I'm smart, funny, "pretty", a calming influence. Yet I'm full of so many fuck-ups its hard to believe that sometimes. I'm a true bibliophile, :) My feelings on the future changes every day - fear, w00tness, confusion, blank Sometimes I'm in recovery, sometimes I'm actively trying to destroy myself and no one can stop me... My life is just one long story, like everyone else's. I live with my Dad and my brother, but I'm rainy strange old Manchester where, just maybe, my real life will begin. Oh, and I'm gifted. Apparently. I don't know. That doesn't sit well with me. Read this blog and find out why.
1 comment:
Effexor is an anti-depressant. But without the side effects of the ones I've taken before. As for feeling fake, it didn't make me happy or go all Stepford, I just didn't want to burst into tears about everything. I could look in the mirror and not cringe, I didn't hate myself and I felt good about things.
How did coming out go for you? You haven't updated. It's a little late, but good luck.
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