Thursday, October 28, 2004

End of Days

Depression’s back.

Damn.

I mean I guess I can’t complain too much. I’ve been some sort of happy for about three weeks. For me, that’s monumental, and I have had such great times and I could laugh and be a bit free but I knew that well, really it can’t last. It never lasts. When it came back last night I wasn’t surprised that it came back, hell I was wondering where the hell it went. It was just the way it came-it didn’t come at all! It was just there, as if it never left, and it fitted like a glove, and I got all my tools of deception back and I could lie effectively, I got my cloak to cover my eyes…I did try to cut last night but I left it too long and I choked, which felt a bit embarrassing. Recoveryourlife.com has gone down for some reason so the only thing I can do right now is hope I cut and get it over and done with. I really don’t want to wrestle with my salesmen. I just want to give up. I can’t do it. Not today.

3 comments:

CarpeDM said...

Don't give up. Please.

I'm not going to tell you it's going to get better.
I'm not going to say everything will be okay.
I know it's not.
I know that it hurts.
I know that sometimes I want to stay in bed forever.
But I am going to say that I care.
People care.
That's what we do.

I'll be thinking of you. Good luck.

Serialangel said...

Thank you for your concern...I'm not going to give uo completely-don't get a hernia worrying about me, its not worth it, but at least I'm not feeling as shitty as I was before...

The Lioness said...

Kid, you give up, your ass gets kicked. Don't be daft, you're too smart for that. You think maybe the salesmen are telling you to change strategies?